Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Another chemo week done, one more to go. At least it semed to go by quickly. We have the air about us that says we know what we are doing when we arrive at sunnybrook on tuesdays. It has become part of the norm, part of the schedule, like soccer practice or judo class. Sometimes I find myself shaking my head, amazed at what has become normal. I find it strange that I can talk about Kev's cancer without breaking down now, the river of tears that would flow for that subject finally drying up. It has been replaced with facts, appointments and results. A strange detachment from the emotional turmoil. That emotional turmoil still bubbles just under the surface though. I can feel it when I allow my mind to think beyond the chemo appointments, beyond the next set of scans. I don't allow my mind to think of those things. It's just safer that way.

A few side effects popped up enexpectedly this time. The neuropathy they had warned us about reared it's ugly head for the first time. It started with tingling in his fingers, then to numbness, then to temperature sensitivity. He can't remove things from the fridge without getting a zap, and it caught both of us by surprise. He is also dealing with some skin issues we weren't expecting. Chemo bumps and splitting of the skin. He has it on his ankles and on his abdomen. They gave us special cream, hopefully it will help.

Easter weekend went off without a hitch. We spent the friday at Kev's parents farm with the kids. Everyone was there, his brother, sisters and all the neices and nephews. It was great to see the kids on their egg hunt, laughing and playing and having a good time. I found Kev very relaxed that day, very calm. It was nice to see. My family came over to ours for friday night, and that too was relaxed and easy. The rest of the weekend was spent with just the four of us together creating memories. It was special as all family time has become. We don't take it for granted, the time together, even if it is just sitting on the couch reading a story. It isn't just the holidays that create the memories, it's the time spent listening, laughing and playing. Those are the things I remember from my childhood, not the "special occasions" that seem to all run together in my mind. Quin always talks about the things that he and Daddy do together on a regular basis, the bus rides, the swimming a few times a week, the wii game they beat. I guess it just means that it is all special, it doesn't have to be created, it just happens....let it.

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