Here I sit.  It's quiet and I'm on my own, and I'm thinking.   A week and a half ago we were out as a family, incredibly precious.  We saw Cirque  D'Eloise and it was amazing, but the sheer will it took for Kevin to go was awe inspiring.  It was a beautiful night, and I can't fathom that it was only a short time ago.  Here I sit.  It is the eve before I go to the funeral home for his visitation, the day before his funeral.  My heart is broken into a million pieces.  Peacefully and at home, Kevin Andrew Stem died with his mother and myself at his side.

My message is to him.

My darling Kev,

I made promises to you that night.  I promised that we would love you forever.  We will.  I promised that I would take care of our children and keep them safe.  I will.  Here's the promise that I didn't get a chance to say out loud.  I promise that Quin, Cian and Tadhgan will always feel the love from their daddy, that they will know how hard you fought to stay with us, how brave you were and how much you adored them and everything to do with them.  I miss you so very much.  Please be our guardian angel.  I need you to be our guardian angel.  I don't want to do this alone.

Rest well my love,

Cath